Creeps With Class: MuckleBones Monster Museum

Dr. David Lady

In an era when it seems haunted attractions are becoming ever more reliant upon costly pre-made, electronic-pneumatic-animatronic-computerized showstoppers, it is, refreshing to see a place where the spirit of showmanship and true ingenuity of a good old-fashioned wax museum is still alive and well. Such a place is Ohio's MuckleBones Monster Museum, a lovingly designed tribute to monsters from both folklore and the movies.

Mucklebones' head honcho, Rob Cametti, creates the sets and dresses the museum's seventy some life (or death) sized figures himself. His ‘gallery of ghouls’ grows by creeps and bounds every year. A few of the highly realistic figures are made with store mannequin bodies, but many were constructed by Rob himself using PVC pipe, two-by-fours, foam rubber padding and an endless supply of elbow grease. Aided by a few family members and his fiancée Misty 'Trixie' Baker, Rob pays a great deal of attention to the look of each figure. Rob makes sure all costumes, accessories and background props are authentically appropriate for each character. Training as a department store display designer comes in handy when Rob is setting up the backgrounds and lighting for each scene. Very few other haunts that I have seen can come anywhere near the Mucklebones level of meticulous detail work. Movie monsters are garbed in outfits that are as accurate as possible, and characters from low budget films are given the same serious artistic attention as those from Hollywood's best-known blockbusters.

The selection of monsters spans every era of cinema terror, from the silent London After Midnight and Nosferatu to the classics Dracula and Mr. Hyde. It runs through the fabulous fifties’ The Wasp Woman and The Brain that Wouldn’t Die. It continues through the slasher era’s Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street and into science fiction and fantasy with Mars Attacks and Edward Scissorhands.  Each display figure is  enhanced by a detailed backdrop set, mood lighting and an informative plaque containing a brief description of the featured fiend. So far, the museum has bounced around from one location to another for each of its four seasons in the business, and as of this writing the location for the Halloween 2000 show has not been announced.

If you love movie monsters, the Mucklebones Monster Museum is not to be missed!

David Lady is the owner of the Horror Hotel, he can be reached at 6977 Sandusky Ave., Chatfield, Ohio 44825 or via phone and Fax at 419-988-3421

MuckleBones Monster Museum

Throughout motion picture history, monsters have proven to be some of the most popular actors in the business. MuckleBones Monster Museum pays tribute to these horror legends in life-size, three-dimensional glory. Featuring nearly 80 monsters, MuckleBones is one of the largest chambers of horror in the nation, encompassing over eight decades of horror movies, and celebrating the horror industry’s most fearsome creations.

Our tour begins near the cargo hold of a seafaring ship. Huddled amidst some splintered crates, and fraying fishnets, unbeknownst to a drunken pirate, stands the original cinematic adaptation of the Vampire, Nosferatu. Next we come upon the ancient Egyptian chamber of Kharis, the Mummy. Surrounded by moss covered pillars and brittle canopic jars, this human artifact gains his strength from the tanna leaves that fill the urns within his tomb. Traveling further we encounter Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula with his delirious servant Renfield. The Count peers through some tree branches with contempt as Renfield feverishly devours spiders and flies to quench his painful hunger for blood. Across the way, the towering but emotional Frankenstein's Monster attempts to gain the attention of his newly created bride. Despite his advances, his man-made mate remains uninterested. Passing beneath the balcony of the "thought to be" vampire from London After Midnight, we enter a world of test tubes and mason jars. Dr. Jekyll is not here right now but his assistant Mr. Hyde is happy to give us a tour through this mysterious and cluttered laboratory. While touring the lab, we feel a cold glaring stare from behind. This stare is coming from the accused witch from Black Sunday, Barbara Steele. Bleeding Holes riddle her complexion as the result of an iron mask that was nailed to her face.

Following along our path we bear witness to the great Boris Karloff as well as the skeletal faced Phantom of the Opera. Walking by a bedroom set, the Invisible Man gets ready for a night of debauchery, while across the way a woman’s bandaged, living head sits smiling in a blood filled pan. This living head is responsible for the seven foot giant,  misshapen,  cone-headed henchman from The Brain That Wouldn't Die, who seems to be reaching for us! Another few steps and we are in the presence of the great Shakespearean actor Christopher Lee. Donning his full Dracula attire, he is not snarling or lunging for us...just watching and contemplating. It is an unnerving stare-down with the prince of darkness! Being so caught up in the company of the Count, we did not notice the coffin behind us. The vampire from Salem's Lot was welcoming us with outstretched, talon-like hands. Passing on his invitation, we move on.

Next up are a couple of werewolves. Oliver Reed from Curse Of The Werewolf reaches down from his platform while Henry Hull from The Werewolf of London peers from around the corner. Although not from the same film, it is great to see these icons of lycanthropy side by side. Across the way, and out of obscurity, is the evil but silly Wasp Woman. Not very scary, as she attends to her exotic plants, her presence reminds us of how goofy that movie actually was! Do not look now, literally, because we have encountered the serpentine queen of the stoned, Medusa! Slithering from behind a Greek column, with bow and arrow in hand, her eight-foot tail trails behind and past the feet of an unfortunate stone soldier.

We zip through a small doorway and find ourselves in the middle of a circus act. This circus is different, however, because the clowns here have enormous sharp teeth! The show is run by the Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Their type of comedy is to kidnap you and make you into a human size ball of cotton candy! Right next to this carnival of catastrophe, we are treated to a couple of crazies. Standing silent against a stone wall, sporting the latest design in straight jackets, is Dr. Hannibal Lechter. His blank “not all there" stare makes you spin around to see what has his attention. He seems to be focused on the light show coming out of Regan Macneil's bedroom. This problem child from The  Exorcist is sitting straight up in her bed, with mouth wide open and tongue hanging out, ready to show us her lunch. Not waiting to give her the chance, we move on.

Zombies have been a favorite movie monster throughout the history of horror and there are all types presented here. Various degrees of decay are seen;  from freshly buried to fully rotted. There's even one still in his coffin! Also included is a pair of famous zombies from Plan Nine From Outer Space, Tor Johnson and Vampira. Down the hall we see a scientist in a lab coat next to some large electrodes. Upon closer inspection, this scientist has the head of a fly as well as a fly’s claw for a hand. This mishap was the result of the genetic integration of a fly and man. The more the fly’s genes took over, the more violent the scientist became. Suddenly, a shiny glare of light attracts our attention. We come to find that the light is a reflection off of a shiny silver ball. The silver ‘sphere’ sits in the palm of the supernatural undertaker from the Phantasm series, The Tall Man! His tall lanky form is perched between funeral urns and a nice floral arrangement. It is an uneasy feeling, staring at the sphere, remembering all of the blades and skull boring devices within. Standing silently, motionless behind us is one of the most popular horror icons of the last twenty years. Just like in the movies, we are now face to face, (or face to mask) with Michael Meyers, always seen, standing silently, and watching victims. Knowing this figure will not move does not help to settle our nerves, because his stationary stance is how most people think of Michael. Stationary, that is, until its time to kill! Speaking of killing, our next exhibit consists of shower and a flashing ‘no vacancy’ sign. When we check into the Bates Motel we will find ‘mother,’ crusted and lifeless in her chair, and Norman, in a dress, clutching a wig and knife. The room service here is excellent! Sleep tight!

As we duck through some foliage we encounter an other icon of the 80’s, Jason Vorhees. This machete-toting monster terrorized teens throughout the Friday The 13th series of movies. His expressionless hockey mask and hulking size made him an excellent camp counselor. Also tangled in the foliage is another 80's monster, Meg Mucklebones. Not nearly as popular as Jason, (but popular enough to get a museum named after her) this undead witch made a quick appearance in the movie "Legend." Although this version of Meg looks like she has had a bath and a haircut, her cinematic persona was so menacing, that she was beheaded just minutes after her debut! If this next figure is not the most popular slasher, then he must be in the top 2 or 3. Amidst chains and boiler room junk, Freddy Krueger cracks a wicked smile. Your fright means Freddy's delight so when this blistered nightmare is smiling your outlook is not good. Right next to Freddy is a large white door with the word ‘REDRUM’ written on it in some sort of red substance. As if we do not know what is behind the door, we cautiously take a peek. “HEERRE’S JOHNNY!” Shady Jack Nicholson stands, as seen in The Shining, with an ax in hand and a grimace on his face. Papers are strewn about the floor with the typing of "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". Not wanting to interrupt Jack, we keep moving.

We move along to another mad doctor. This one possibly the most demented of the bunch, Dr. Malcolm Brand from the movie I Madman. This Dr. was not happy with the way he looked, so in order to make himself more attractive, he would pump his face full of Novocain, and sew on facial features that he had cut off of other people. The result looks like a ‘skinsaw-puzzle,’ stitched into his face! With horror toys on the floor, movie posters on the wall, monster videos, stacks of Fangoria Magazines and Halloween props covering the floor, this is not the room of just any horror fan. This is the dwelling of someone who really loves scary movies. As a matter of fact, he loves them so much that he has to live them. This next re-creation is what the killer from the movie Scream would have in his bedroom. So caught up in his murderous role-play, he has no distinction between fantasy and reality. The Stalker stands silently with knife raised, ready at any moment to take a stab.

"I'll be back", was the catch phrase of this next monster/hero. Arnold Schwartznegger played the role of Terminator in two movies. This cyborg looked normal until some of his skin was blown away to reveal a shiny metal endoskeleton. Seemingly indestructible, this Terminator is missing an arm and half his face as he stands in the middle of crumbling circuitry and scrap metal. We turn to see Christmas trees and presents of skulls and spiders. Christmas and Halloween become one when it involves Jack Skellington! The  Pumpkin King stands a towering 11ft. tall and has managed to become tangled in some Christmas lights. Having his heart set on executing the perfect holiday, Jack nearly ruins Christmas with his ghoulish gifts and macabre merriment.

Adjacent to Jack is another Tim Burton classic; Beetlejuice. Rising above his tombstone, “the ghost with the most” is ready for a night of “bio-exorcism.” Mounted on the wall, BJ is actually lifted up and over us to simulate his rising from the grave. Burton's comedic visions are soon forgotten as we enter the realm of pleasure and pain. Surrounded by a wall of hanging chains. Nestled within the simplest of settings, is Pinhead, ruler of hell. As leader of the evil Cenobites, Pinhead takes pride in the slow torture of his victims, sometimes tearing them to pieces with hook-ended chains. For the time being he is focused on his puzzle box, in the lament configuration, so we will continue quietly so we do not attract his attention. Slipping through a curtain, and into another dimension, our senses are dazzled by shiny silver walls and glowing, flashing lights. Aliens in containment units, autopsy specimens and not to mention a few famous extraterrestrials, all clutter this small corner of Area 51.This secret government base houses many well-kept secrets involving intergalactic beings. Up close and personal is how we get to view the space creatures. We wonder where they came from? How did they get here? Are they real?

We turn one last corner and we are back in the lobby of MuckleBones. This lobby also has a gift shop selling books, videos, T-shirts, and masks. Watching over the gift shop is that slimy cheapskate from StarWars Episode One, Watto. On the other end of the shop, amidst lightning flashes and thunderclaps are a couple of displays that have spilled from within the creepy walls of MuckleBones. Intended as ‘teasers’ out where passing customers can see them, are Gary Oldman as Dracula and Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands. Long tapestries engulf the count as he melts into the corner of the room, his wicked snicker can give even the bravest patron the chills. Edward on the other hand, appears to be lonely and lost. Hiding between some trees he seems shy to the crowds and uneasy towards his onlookers. His sharp extended fingers and bolted, belted, rusty wardrobe might seem intimidating but Edward is simply misunderstood. There are also teasers strewn throughout the shopping mall that houses MuckleBones. Eddie Quist from The Howling, and his final 9ft. lycanthropic transformation are stationed in center court. Also, a classic human gargoyle, boasting an eight-foot wingspan, can be viewed while shopping.

Each year the event adopts a new location (after the show, some buildings must be torn down due to the strain of housing so many monsters). Always billed as a family haunted attraction, this unique event takes the haunting industry in a new direction. MuckleBones is not just about the show itself, but also about educating people and getting them excited about the legends of the horror industry. Choosing to rely on attention to detail rather than high startle has proven successful for this homegrown production.

As the doors close for the night, and the lights and sound are turned out, the crew loads into the ‘Muckle Mobile,’ a 1979 Cadillac Hearse, to make the trip home, only to turn around and do it all again tomorrow.

For more information on the MuckleBones Monster Museum, contact Rob Cametti via e-mail at mucklebones@webtv.net or by writing to 649 Edgefield Drive. Marion, OH 43302